I'm baaack! Don't say you haven't been warned.

Guess who's back? Back again. Dani's back, tell a friend. Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back...

(Fist pump and knuckle bump to the 8 mile trailer park kid done good. Love ya Rabbit.)

Did ya miss me? No? Awww, not the answer I was looking for. Wanna try again? This time with a little more feeling? I'll wait... Okay, not fair, I know. You couldn't miss me cause you didn't know I was gone. Truth be told, no one even knew I was here. 

You see, I'm writing a book and as every well informed unpublished author knows, you need a web presence. I started querying prospective agents for my book project and had a fairly amazing response in requests for reading a partial. Then, like a novice rapper at a mic I choked. I questioned every word I wrote, every line I spoke and this lil blog here was likened to a red-headed step-child that still wets her pants and picks her nose. I didn't want a prospective agent stumbling upon it and thinking for one moment that it was representative of the highest quality product I could produce. I mean sheesh, most of it was written here because Facebook doesn't give me enough available characters in my status updates. Damn them. I am not above a soap box style lecture to prove a point but let it be known that I only stand on that soap box because I am petite. No, not short. Petite dammit! Fun-sized, more accurately. Never known for my brevity I can be talk for days and there are times that a long-winded dissertation actually IS called for. I figure if I can't wear you down then I can wear you out and you'll surrender just so I will shut the eff up. I won't. Point being, I took down every post except for the little ditty about the county fair below. I figured it was a nice vanilla contrast to the hedonistic adventures of a "Hot Child in the City" who lived for almost decade as right hand woman-child to Dionysus. For the record, he's a leftie.

F.Y.I, I am still without a literary agent so if you happen to have one just laying around doing nothing please, please, please let me know. They are becoming notoriously lazy bastards now that e-books outsell print on Amazon. Hey slackers, some of us still want to smell the pages and last I checked my monitor here wasn't a freakin' scratch and sniff.

So, welcome to my party. Stay a while, or at least bookmark me so when have to leave you can find your way back. And you will want to come back, trust me. I'm going to knick-knack-paddy-whack throw you a couple of bones in the form of a few more posts after this one. I'm a giver, what can I say? Yes, you're welcome. I'm big on manners too so feel free to leave a thank you note for both my generosity and hospitality in the form of a comment below. You bookmark me yet? Whatcha waiting for? I'll wait...
How about just in case, you run and grab a Sharpie and write my info on your arm, or your leg, or your forehead if need be. I don't want to have to come looking for you, but I will if I have to. Don't say you haven't been warned...