From my Toes to Yo's...

Disclaimer: This is a recycled post.

So.

So, so, suck my toe, all the way to Mexico!

I gave it to ya once and it was so good I'm gonna give it to ya again. I'm calling it "re-gifted." Feel free to pass it along, re-wrapped, of course. Here goes...



It was recently brought to my attention that I post an unusual amount of photos of my feet on Facebook.

Yeah, what about it? You judging me? I'll own it.

It was then brought to my attention there are certain websites that cater to this sort of fetish.
"You should look into cashing in on those tootsies."
I actually thought about it, for an exorbitantly long amount of time too. I even tried to talk them  (My feet, that is. Come on now, keep up.) into it with the promise of new shoes. Pretty shoes. Sparkly ones. Heck, I woulda thrown in a spa pedi too. It was a no go.

"Ix-na on the oot-fa etish-fa imping-pa itch-ba!"

Yeah, they speak Pig Latin when they're really pissed. I hung my head with the shame no real pimp could ever feel. Guess I'm not that kinda playa, anymore. So, to make it up to them (Yes, my feet. You gotta stay with me, I can't drag you along.) I channeled my love into an ode and this is how it goes...


Ode to My Toes

Your feet, your feet, again your feet,

Is it a foot fetish or voyeuristic treat?
What’s your trip? What’s your deal?

Are you some kind of freak?

Or…are you for real?

Tell me, tell me, tell me right now

I’ve got to know, I’ve got the time

Make it fun, entertain me,

In the form of a rhythm…

I tilted my head and I grinned

Gave the smile with the dimple,

Cleared my throat, then I winked

I was ready to begin…

My justification for my fascination

Is really a form of appreciation.

For my feet that you mention, it is my intention

To call out by name

What is worthy of attention.

So sit back and relax let’s have a good time,

Let the clock tick and let the clock tock,

Put your own dogs up I’m gonna walk my talk.

With my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground,

It was time to convey what I wanted to say.

I closed my eyes, bowed my head, took a deep breathe and I prayed,

"This little ditty needs to be quite witty in the most amazing way."

‘Ode To My Toes’ was born on the spot,

I’d thought of it all and it was actually quite a lot.

My feet, my feet, they are so sweet,

I love them more than anyone you’ll ever meet.

They are at their most basic, not so much an inspiration,

But rather just my form of transportation.

It’s the things we have done, the places we have seen,

The people we’ve met and everything in-between,

That warrants my admiration, in consideration, of

All the miles we’ve logged and the road ahead,

Where we want to be barefooted and free.

                                                      

Me and my feet, you’re in for a treat

We’ve….

Kicked a ball, kicked some ass,

Raked the leaves and mowed the grass.

We’ve backslid and we’ve progressed,

Been photographed as evidence.

We’ve tested the waters, skated on thin ice,

Taken a wrong turn once or twice.

We’ve stepped out of the way and been stepped on,

My poor second toe hasn’t been right since.

We’ve tip-toed through the tulips, stepped in shit,

Eased on down the road and balanced a fence.

We’ve taken the high road, the low road,

come to the fork in the road, a crossroads

and chosen the path of least resistance.

We’ve done the right things, taken the easy way out,

Stopped on a dime and wandered about.

We’ve been there, we’ve done that,

Gone to the point of no return and yet… we found our way back

They’ve been soaked and scrubbed and rubbed down,

Painted, polished, filed square or filed round.

We’ve kick boxed and step-classed, cycled and spinned,

Piliated, viyassed, and samadhi’ed within,

But these are just a few of the places we’ve been.

We’ve gotten into trouble, gotten out of a pinch,

Made quick like little bunnies, looked at the stars from a ditch.

My toes, my toes, heaven knows,

We get cold as ice when winter snows.

(And that really fucking blows)

We’ve worn heels, flats, boots and everything in-between,

Some of the most amazing shoes I’ve ever seen.

From the Payless pumps to the Christian Loubotain’s,

From the Ugg’s to the flip flops, this list just began.

The five inch platforms with the mirrored heel,

On the catwalk or the sidewalk, yeah baby, we’re the real deal.

We’ve rocked and we’ve rolled on a dance floor,

Bikini small, heels tall, there are no angels in the centerfold.

We’ve got our groove on, we’ve gotten into the groove,

Music is an aphrodisiac, it makes my feet want to move.

We’ve hop, skipped and wiggled, we’ve shimmied and shaked,

We’ve escaped the Yakuza and survived an earthquake.

You might think this is it but don’t think you’re right,

The list of mischief could go on all night.

You still with me? You want to hear more?

Or should these honored feet of mine take me right out the door?

No? Oh good, I shall go on for sure…

We’ve been buried in sand on four different continents,

Pointed and flexed as I’ve stretched for a kiss.

We’ve walked down the aisle and been up all night,

Paced floors with my children, "Hush sweet prince, it is all alright."

We’ve jumped for joy, knelt in despair, and spun circles in the grass without a care.

We’ve jaywalked and cross-walked, ran like a bat out of hell,

With a prayer on my lips, "Please, please feet don’t fail me now."

We’ve been high class, we’re down home,

These dogs of mine have been all over the globe,

From the mountains of Alaska to the beaches of Jamaica,

"Respect mon, leave more than ya take-a."

From the pig farm in Japan, to the deserts of Saudi,

Me and my feet, one restless soul, one pixie-esque body.

So you see, for me, these aren't "just" my feet,

They are my constant companions for each day we greet.

The same is certain for yours too,

Think about it and you'll find it's true.

Your second verse isn't the same as my first,

It may be better, it may be worse.

You and your feet have a story of your own,

Knick knack, patty whack, give your dogs a bone.

Your feet will always... find their way home.